What U Mean U Don't Know About The Beer Poleesh?

Wow, I figured everyone knew who the beer poleesh were. The beer poleesh are those people, some may call them friends, I am not amongst this group, who will tell you when you've had too much to drink.
Listen up asshole, I'll tell you when I've had too much to drink. You're not going to monitor my alcohol consumption and decide when it's too fucking much. Don't you have something better to do? Like getting yourself fucking hammered so that you're not such an uptight asshole? Maybe then you could get your stupid ass laid. People don't like the friend who stands around, making note of every drink that's been had by all of his friends, then makes a determination of when they've had too much. Look, we don't keep you around because we like you. No, we keep you around because when the rest of us are so fucking hammered that we can't drive, we can always hand you the keys and trust you to get us home alive. But in the meantime, until you're called upon to be the designated driver, shut the fuck up, and let us be the designated drinkers. Do you get a special feeling of power out of telling us when we're shut off? Do you have any sort of way of actually shutting us off? Oh yeah? You've decided to take my beer? I've decided to punch you in the face, and I'd do it if I weren't seeing two of you. Come on you prick, quit playing optical games and reveal yourself.
The other obvious beer poleesh is the significant other who doesn't drink like a fish. I've dated one girl in my life who liked to drink as much as me. Does that mean I have a drinking problem? No, it means she did. I'm absolved from feeling bad. I'm sorry if I got hammered at your birthday dinner with your entire family, hit on the waitress and threw up in the car on the way home, but it was obviously food poisoning. If you think I drink a lot, you should know how little I drink when your controlling ass isn't around. And no, we're not having a date somewhere other than at a bar. Unless it's a liquor store and the last time I tried spreading a blanket out and having a picnic there they threw me out. Will you please quit fucking nagging me about my drinking? WOO WOO WOO! UH OH! BEER POLEESH!