Six In The Morning

Men love strip clubs! If there is something I have learned in life, it's that there is no easier way to get a smile out of a man than by mentioning strip joints or strippers. We love to discuss whom we saw and what we did. It's a private world that men relish and women fear.

We come creeping into the house at 6:00am, quiet as a mouse, trying our best to remain inconspicuous. The last thing you want is a confrontation -- especially since you pumped a few beers into your system.

But no matter how quiet you thought you were being, on go the lights and there's your woman, staring at you as though she's expecting the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

"Where were you? You were at that strip bar with Dj Jesus, weren't you? I've always hated that stupid Neanderthal. So did you like all those breasts? How can you disrespect me like that?"

And now you have to spend the rest of the night assuring her that you were just having fun with the boys.

WHY IS SHE SO MAD?

So what is it about strip joints that tick women off so much? Well, for starters, let's place you in your woman's shoes and vice versa. If your woman went out to male strip joints with all her girlfriends and came home somewhat liquored up, wouldn't you have a tingly feeling more commonly known as jealousy rushing through your body? Wouldn't you wonder if she did some fondling, or how many penises were being waved in her face?

Besides that, some women begin feeling insecure because they figure that if you have a pair of breasts to fondle at home, then why would you need to go somewhere and ogle other women? I know, it's not like that, but hey, just because we're the most civilized species, that doesn't always mean things will make perfect sense.

Most women question their men’s need to go to a strip club. “Why do they want to look at other women? Am I not pretty enough?” Most men want to go because of the atmosphere. It is a mix of a dance club and sports bar with girls walking around in costumes. It is a different mix of atmospheres that you cannot find anywhere but a strip club. It is relaxed enough that you can sit back, talk with your friends, and still have music and entertainment. Some men do not even talk to or watch the strippers when they go. They sit and talk with each other and turn away any dancers that approach. I have seen it more times than I can count. You would also be surprised at the amount of couples that go to strip clubs.

Do what I did. Buy a pole!