Thursday, May 24, 2012
For He Shall Not Be Disappointed.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
25 Signs You Have Grown Up ... ... Old!
.jpg)
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as dressed up.
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Wendy’s closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diets… Instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer pretty good shit.
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again”
23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking , ”Oh shit what the hell happened??”
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Six In The Morning

Men love strip clubs! If there is something I have learned in life, it's that there is no easier way to get a smile out of a man than by mentioning strip joints or strippers. We love to discuss whom we saw and what we did. It's a private world that men relish and women fear.
We come creeping into the house at 6:00am, quiet as a mouse, trying our best to remain inconspicuous. The last thing you want is a confrontation -- especially since you pumped a few beers into your system.
But no matter how quiet you thought you were being, on go the lights and there's your woman, staring at you as though she's expecting the ground to open up and swallow you whole.
"Where were you? You were at that strip bar with Dj Jesus, weren't you? I've always hated that stupid Neanderthal. So did you like all those breasts? How can you disrespect me like that?"
And now you have to spend the rest of the night assuring her that you were just having fun with the boys.
WHY IS SHE SO MAD?
So what is it about strip joints that tick women off so much? Well, for starters, let's place you in your woman's shoes and vice versa. If your woman went out to male strip joints with all her girlfriends and came home somewhat liquored up, wouldn't you have a tingly feeling more commonly known as jealousy rushing through your body? Wouldn't you wonder if she did some fondling, or how many penises were being waved in her face?
Besides that, some women begin feeling insecure because they figure that if you have a pair of breasts to fondle at home, then why would you need to go somewhere and ogle other women? I know, it's not like that, but hey, just because we're the most civilized species, that doesn't always mean things will make perfect sense.
Most women question their men’s need to go to a strip club. “Why do they want to look at other women? Am I not pretty enough?” Most men want to go because of the atmosphere. It is a mix of a dance club and sports bar with girls walking around in costumes. It is a different mix of atmospheres that you cannot find anywhere but a strip club. It is relaxed enough that you can sit back, talk with your friends, and still have music and entertainment. Some men do not even talk to or watch the strippers when they go. They sit and talk with each other and turn away any dancers that approach. I have seen it more times than I can count. You would also be surprised at the amount of couples that go to strip clubs.
Do what I did. Buy a pole!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Green Ramblings

We all need each other to survive, regardless of one’s political affiliation, nationality, religion, race and creed. There are common bonding issues which connect all of us together. Before taking a position and joining any political group, Democrats, Republicans or any other political affiliation, we must realize what is the higher order.
The higher order of things is to preserve life-supporting and life-sustaining elements and the environment by not following or allowing any political party and or special interest group who have self-preserving and financial interests to dominate and deceive the public.
List of Common Concerns and Causes To All:
No one in their right mind would disagree with the need for discussion and implementation of new methodologies that address the common concerns and causes listed below.
1 - Clean, Healthy Air to Breathe
2 - Clean, Healthy Water to Drink
3 - Healthy, Clean Land to Live on and Grow Food
4 - Un-radiated, Nuclear and Pesticide-Free Organic Food & Produce
5 - Utilizing the Abundant and Inexhaustible Sun's Energy
6 - Development and Use of Hydrogen-Based Energy Production
7 - Establishing Fair & Dignified Living Wages
8 - Establishing Universal Healthcare System
9 - Establishing Universal Educational System
We urgently need to get over our trivial differences so that we can begin cooperating with one another on the important issues such as Environment, Global Warming, Healthcare, Education, Etc.
- - The French Marshall Lyautey once asked his gardener to plant a tree. The gardener objected that the tree was slow growing and would not reach maturity for 100 years. The Marshall replied, in that case, there is no time to lose; plant it this afternoon. - -
Sunday, January 10, 2010
"A man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he'll tell you the truth."

I was born like this.
A person of interest who warrants your attention and broadens your perspective.
When you see me you don’t see someone “like” yourself, not even in the mirror…..
I see you though.
Through binoculars on most days and a telescope some nights.
Some act like life is all show and tell!
A play with an all-star cast and no script.
Avoiding paparazzi while we chase dreams and try to land the lead role in the next “Box Office Hit”
I live like that.
Amongst lawyers and crooks, strippers and grand mothers
A place where limousines drive by real fast and police cruise bye (they never stop)
With our “Annoying Neighbors” whom we ask to babysit our legacies and futures.
Spend thousands on vices in untold places
All the while when we could save millions by simply walking life’s races.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
My Ire!
"I smoke, I drink and I cuss! I am not racist but I don't trust Nigerians.Philonious Instructions.
- PhiloniousTee
- GERMANTOWN, MD, United States
- Felonious Intent: Pertaining To, Of The Nature Of Or Involving A Felony ...
