Verbal Intercourse ( Can I F#ck You?)

So, can I f*ck you?
I mean, not like physically
But can our minds intertwine
And reach a level of ecstasy that shatters every boundary
Of realization and fantasy
I mean, can I f*ck you
And invade your random thoughts
Penetrating your soul
Causing you to come
(Cum) To orgasm
To reach a point of bliss
Turning you inside out
Cause you didn’t know f*cking could be like this...
If I had one wish
It would be to f*ck you
And ride your wave of emotion
To the understanding of my heart flow
On…and on…and on
This f*cking would go on in our souls fighting the lover’s battle
Where we both would win
I just want to f*ck you
This heavenly thought can’t be a sin
Invading your world
Stroking your strength
Massaging your weaknesses
Kissing your wounds
Blowing your mind
F*cking you like the rhythm of a poet’s rhyme
Transcending earth
Defying gravity and time
Damn…I feel like f*cking you...
#Think differently

Share Our Similarities, Celebrate Our Differences ...

25 Signs You Have Grown Up ... ... Old!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 a.m is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and breakup.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as dressed up.

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Wendy’s closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diets… Instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer pretty good shit.

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again”

23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking , ”Oh shit what the hell happened??”

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.

Be Wary Of Fal$e Prophets!

Remember this chick? Ms Cleo, the tarot card, crystal ball, 1-800 fortune telling, tele-scammer?

How many of you minkeys n monkeys actually called this number? ….. Yeah Right!?!

Truth be told we all knew she was a scam and so did she. But you know what, a hell of a lot of people “believed” in her n $he cashed in…. She knew and we knew but she damned conventional thought and wisdom! She marketed a lie in the form of hope and people believed. I know there are others like me who at one point thought about calling her at 3.28am on a Sunday, not because I was wasted, but just to see .....

My question to you is this. Are you telling the lies or are you listening?

Six In The Morning

Men love strip clubs! If there is something I have learned in life, it's that there is no easier way to get a smile out of a man than by mentioning strip joints or strippers. We love to discuss whom we saw and what we did. It's a private world that men relish and women fear.

We come creeping into the house at 6:00am, quiet as a mouse, trying our best to remain inconspicuous. The last thing you want is a confrontation -- especially since you pumped a few beers into your system.

But no matter how quiet you thought you were being, on go the lights and there's your woman, staring at you as though she's expecting the ground to open up and swallow you whole.

"Where were you? You were at that strip bar with Dj Jesus, weren't you? I've always hated that stupid Neanderthal. So did you like all those breasts? How can you disrespect me like that?"

And now you have to spend the rest of the night assuring her that you were just having fun with the boys.

WHY IS SHE SO MAD?

So what is it about strip joints that tick women off so much? Well, for starters, let's place you in your woman's shoes and vice versa. If your woman went out to male strip joints with all her girlfriends and came home somewhat liquored up, wouldn't you have a tingly feeling more commonly known as jealousy rushing through your body? Wouldn't you wonder if she did some fondling, or how many penises were being waved in her face?

Besides that, some women begin feeling insecure because they figure that if you have a pair of breasts to fondle at home, then why would you need to go somewhere and ogle other women? I know, it's not like that, but hey, just because we're the most civilized species, that doesn't always mean things will make perfect sense.

Most women question their men’s need to go to a strip club. “Why do they want to look at other women? Am I not pretty enough?” Most men want to go because of the atmosphere. It is a mix of a dance club and sports bar with girls walking around in costumes. It is a different mix of atmospheres that you cannot find anywhere but a strip club. It is relaxed enough that you can sit back, talk with your friends, and still have music and entertainment. Some men do not even talk to or watch the strippers when they go. They sit and talk with each other and turn away any dancers that approach. I have seen it more times than I can count. You would also be surprised at the amount of couples that go to strip clubs.

Do what I did. Buy a pole!

Drunkard's Prayer

Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be Thy drink, Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as I am in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us, And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers, For thine is the beer, The bitter and the lager, Forever and ever, Barmen.