Man Who Pull Out Too Fast, Leave Rubber ...

Dear Abby:
 I just met the most terrific girl and we get along fabulously.  I
think she's the one for me. There's just one problem: I can't remember
from our first date if she told me she had TB or VD.  What should I do?

Confused

Dear Confused:
 If she coughs, fuck her.

Bad Memories ...

When I Grow Up, I Wanna Make A Pill That Can Help Me Forget Any & All Bad Memories. Kinda Like The 'Morning After Pill'